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Tainted Springs

Innocence is a lie.
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Makin' the rounds .... [Tuesday, October 3rd, 2006 @ 11:00pm]

One thing about being a slayer, you can smell death, like most people smell rain, and it was getting closer and closer to Jackson.

Okay I didn’t like this whole stitch as ‘dorm mother,’ my only experience with college had been visiting B’ after the hole coma episode, and the movies I’d seen, and not even going into my experiences with my mother, yeah what a freaking role model she was, but I’d agreed to this, even it wasn’t my bag, and yeah well slacking wasn’t something I did, running, fighting and slaying, yeah those I did, and a couple of other hobbies, I rather liked to indulge.

Being in a dorm with a bunch of girls was like well PMS city, and I avoided it as much as I could, cause yeah, I don’t do that, and not share gal, I was so not the slayer for this, but if B’ could do it, then fuck it, so could I.

Usually the halls were never quiet, but today there was, it was as if it were the witching hour, but outside the sun was shining and the birds were singing, and I was walking do the silent halls waiting for some spectre to jump and it did.

The scent of death still hung heavily in the air, but try as I might, I could tell where it was coming from, the dorm, by all appearances was silent as a tomb, and for now as safe as one, I choose to venture out into the campus and breathe.
Tainted Tale

[Sunday, October 1st, 2006 @ 2:29pm]

I can’t believe Alex and I are together. I mean I really love this woman, so yeah it’s scary, or at least I’m scared, because I don’t want to lose her like I lost Sam. We talked about it once or twice, but not in depth or anything, she’s got a lot going on with her slayer and everything else she doesn’t need to be dealing with my emotional baggage to. I guess I’m just worried about losing her or watching her die. Sometimes I feel like an infectious disease where I infect all the people I care about. It happened with Buffy and with Sam, why should now be any different?

I just have to keep telling myself that this is different. Maybe one day I’ll finally let go and then it really will be different, but that probably won’t be for a while.

Alex says she’s going to be working or studying or something so I decide to take a walk doesn’t hurt to get fresh air and get used to everything around campus. With the students missing and disappearing I figure maybe I can figure something out. You can take the man out of the Iniative but not the Iniative out of the man.

I changed into some shorts and a t-shirt and then stretched as I ran around the campus. I took my time and ran a few times around the entire campus and slowed down to jog and look around and see if anything was out of the ordinary. I stopped to get a drink at the fountain and heard some girls talking about their friend missing. I walked around campus and heard a few other people talking about their friends missing.

I run back to the house and take a moment to catch my breathe as I run up the stairs to find Alex. “Hey. I’ve got something big to tell you.” I say as I put my hands above my head to help put the cramp at ease. “There’s been girls missing all over the campus, I’ve heard of at least 3 girls today on my run.”
12 Tales | Tainted Tale

[Thursday, July 6th, 2006 @ 11:09pm]

[ mood | confused ]

So I am still hiding from Charles. No I don't regret what we did, I just worry things will be different now. I mean thats obvious, yes it will be different, why wouldn't it? Question is will it be so different that he will be weird around me, or is it me who is the one being weird. He isn't the one avoiding me, I am avoiding him worried about what would happen. Maybe I should just go find him and ask him what he thinks of all of this, but what if he has regrets? Ok Willow, get a grip and just go ask him.

As I head out to find him, to find the man that made me believe in men again I run into a strange man who was really happy and thanking me for something. I didn't have the first clue of who this was, and was ready to send him packin, and by packin I mean turn him into something squishy. "Who are you?" I finally ask and he just gives me a look as if I should know who the heck he was. "OK look, I don't have the first clue of who you are so can you just stop bouncing long enough to tell me?" Ok so I was kind of bitchy, so sue me.

((open to Lorne))

2 Tales | Tainted Tale

Sobriety - It does a body good. [Tuesday, May 23rd, 2006 @ 8:20pm]

Magic. Let me tell you. I could never quite grasp the immensity of what it could do, until I woke up this morning.

I went to bed last night, like I do every other night, except this particular night I wasn't horns deep in my liquor cabinet and when I did fall asleep, it wasn't on the couch with my tequila bottle. I made a promise to Willow, in a kind of I scratch her back, and in return, she gives me a whole body massage and an entire day at the spa. Hypothetically speaking, because her end of the bargain definately paid off.

When I woke up this morning, it was different for two reasons. The first being I was in my bed and my head wasn't spinning, (You can thank sobriety for that one) and the second was, well, I felt different. To reiterate, I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes, yawned, stretched, you know - the typical routine. I didn't actually notice anything though until I had rubbed my forehead and realized it was smoothe. You know, sans the horns. Kind of frightening, to say the least, when you realize your horns are missing. Especially since you've had them your whole life.

So as I am sitting there, frantically feeling my forehead, I pull my hands away and notice they're not exactly green. Pink, to be exact. I look down at my chest - pink as well. My arms, too.

I threw off my covers, ran to the mirror and what did I see? A big brown pair of eyes staring back at me. A different face. A human face.

And let me tell you, good God, I am gorgeous.

I can't describe to you the feeling. I was elated, to say the least, but scared at the same time. Whose face was this? Was it borrowed from someone else? Or is this an accurate representation of what I would look like if I really were born a human being? Was I in someone else's skin, or was I in my own? Willow said this would be a glamour, (And oh, Honey, I do feel glamourous, don't get me wrong) but I wasn't exactly sure if I should feel weirded out by it all, or just happy that I could, well, leave the house.

Either way, I didn't care. In my excitement, I got myself dressed, and went off to find someone, anyone, that I could show off the new and improve me to.
Tainted Tale

[Wednesday, April 19th, 2006 @ 2:48pm]

There's something coming, I can feel it. It's really starting to piss me off that something out there thinks it can have even a PART of the kingdom we've worked so hard to create. Something will have to be done to stop it, there's no way in hell I'm losing all this.

(open to my husband)
Tainted Tale

[Monday, April 17th, 2006 @ 9:37am]

I couldn't believe it. Charles and I were spending time talking then we were making love...I think thats what I could call it, he didn't seem to be complaining and the fact that he was still here when I woke up said a lot too. Part of me wonders if we made the right decision though. I mean, was this the right way to start off a new relationship? I can't believe that a man like Charles though would run off after that, he doesn't seem like...well like Parker was to Buffy. I do know now though that we can't go back, we can't change what has happened, not that I want to.

There isn't anyone I can talk to about this, Buffy can't be seen around us, and has to sneak to the house, Angel and his team don't really care for Charles, Giles...not gonna happen there, and well that just leaves Xander and he is busy with his new girlfriend. I guess I will just have to suck it up and talk to Charles. Though none of this matters right now anyway, I have actual work to do and he is sleeping.

What I need to worry about right now is taking care of Lorne and the spell to make him appear human. I have finally gotten everything I need and now all I have to do is perform it, thank goddess for my office, otherwise with the way things have been I wouldn't have the peace enough to even do the spell.

I mix the herbs, light the candles, say the latin which I suck at, and pray really hard this doesn't turn him into a toad...or turn me into a toad, either way someone would be a toad and it would be bad. Our cover would definatly be blown then.

The time passes, and hey I'm not a toad...I just hope the spell worked. I guess when Lorne looks in the mirror and sees his human face we will know...and I guess I no longer have an excuse to avoid the talk with Charles...

[[open to Charles and anyone else who wants to interrupt.]]
10 Tales | Tainted Tale

...pain.... [Thursday, March 9th, 2006 @ 5:47pm]

Immense amounts of pain. My back hurt from the lashings that Mr. Hart gave me. Most of the actual cuts healed, but there was bruising. And it wasnt going away for a while. And then there were my...nether regions. THAT is an entirely different kind of hurt. I couldnt even say what he put down there to torture me. But it doesnt hurt as bad as it did. And thats saying alot.

I finally got let go. Cant say that I'll ever cross the Harts like i did EVER again. Not worth the beatings and rape. I can only pretend to like it so much. I couldnt just go back to school, though. Not with all the bruises and cuts. People would ask questions. Especially Jackie. That girl just gets at my last nerve. I cant afford to have anyone suspicious of what Im doing...

So I stayed at this little cottage that my dad has on the side. Mom doesnt know about it, and its for the best. Any time that we have any trouble with the Harts and need to get away for a little bit, thats where we go. We get time to heal and dont get bothered by anyone. Its kinda nice..plus theres cable tv.

After a week I decided it was time to go back to school so Jackie wouldnt get TOO suspicious. Theres only so much caring for a sick uncle you can do. It was almost exactly the same as when I left. Except her side of the room seemed to have gotten even cleaner. how is that possible??? I went in the bathroom and took a shower. While I was in there I remembered something...


I hadnt seen him since the Harts seperated us to do their dirty deeds! I wonder where he is now...

[[open to anyone]]
7 Tales | Tainted Tale

Damn. [Tuesday, March 7th, 2006 @ 11:16pm]

[ mood | cold ]

It's over. It's all over.

For me anyway. I was so stupid. I havent seen the Harts for a while, so I was just doing my own thing, doin what I wanted to do. It was a good time anyway, every killing after the other just gave me more freedom since I wasn't getting caught. It gave me a sort of thrill, a sense of feeling if you will and it was taking control of me. And I liked it.

The thing was, I was doing it without Nicolette, I didn't know what happened with her, I havent seen her around for ages, and I missed her. Yea I said it, I missed her. I havent missed anyone in my life...ever. I've always lived for me, and no-one but. But she brought something else to the table, something different, new. She filled a portion of me that has been void for some time -- and I sound like a complete poof. God I needed something other than this. I didn't know where she went, or why she bothered not to tell me, but whatever...I could get on find without her.

Well I thought I could. One night after getting back from a fresh massacre, a couple who were just asking for it, I came back hoping that Connor wasn't in the room so I could just enjoy myselfl. I come open the door and find a note on the ground in the dark. I opened it tentively knowing full well who it was from. It read:


You know why we are writing you. You know what you are doing. This is your last warning, come to the house immediately for punishment.


I crumpeled the note and threw it away. I was tired of this shit. I packed my bags and said so-long to this God-forsaken (literally) town. I hopped the first train outta town taking me somewhere in Pennsilvania. I got off the train and checked into a motel to begin mapping out where I was going from there, I was tired of playing by the Harts rules, and doing their bidding. It was time to really start living my own life.

No sooner than thinking that thought when I heared a knock on the door. I went and opened it and there stood Mr. Hart himself. Damn I thought. I was almost free. I knew these were going to be my last moments, so I milked them for all I could.

He did his usual talking down to me, how I was worthless and how I would never amount to anyhting and how he never knew why he hired me in the first place, I responded with my usual back-talk and he responsed his his usual hitting me across the face. But this time I was ready. My fist fired up and I counterd with an attack across the face leaving him with a scar. He retaliated quickly and slashed me in the gut and the throat. I went down without hesitation.

Can't say that my life flashed before my eyes, because I had no life. My life belonged to the Harts and I regretted that, but no time for that now. I heard him say something to the manner of "This death dosn't even suit you, you waste of breath" or something. Not that I cared cause hey, I was dying. But then I heard him say "Atleast the girl learned from her beatings..." That caught my attention. That bastard, he...with Nicolette. I felt the blood leaving my body and I thought about the Harts, Nicolette, the slayers we killed, our time together the thought of Mr. Hart violating her like the sick bastard he is. I closed my eyes and let go. My life as I knew it was over...

before it even began.

Tainted Tale

[Sunday, March 5th, 2006 @ 6:02pm]

I sat in the back of Angel's car with Cordy, neither one of us talking or even looking in the others direction. Every now and then I caught Angel glancing in the rear view mirror at us. Maybe I was crazy, but I think he might have actually been scowling. It didn't matter. I didn't trust her and that's that. I mean how can Angel be so blind? Cordelia, who may I remind you is supposed to be dead, just shows up out of the blue and everything is supposed to be peachy keen? Give me a break.

I looked down at my feet and realized that if anything good was gonna come out of today at least it would be a new pair of shoes 'cause God knows I needed them. When I looked back up I saw the "mall" if you could call it that. My God even Sunnydales mall was bigger then this. I couldn't help but smile though. Cordelia perfered the finner things in life and she was not going to be happy about this place. Which made my day...a little.

Finally I chanced a glance in her direction. Her face was expressionless. If Angel was right about her, she really had changed, but I was betting more on demon invasion of the body snatcher variety.

"Disappointed?" I asked her in the most friendly voice I could muster up.

((Open to Cordy & Angel...))
8 Tales | Tainted Tale

Family [Sunday, March 5th, 2006 @ 5:38pm]

I dropped my digits down on Ang's dresser and bailed. If she wanted to lock herself inside her own head so be it! If she didn't need to be committed before she was certainly on the right track to it now! Part of me wanted to turn around and not give up on her, but the better half of me just wanted to tell her exactly where to stick her emotional issues.

I turned around twice in the hallway, both times coming damn close to going back in, and both times I threw my hands in the air and walked away again. I wasn't good at this sort of thing. I had no idea what to say to her, which was obvious by her reaction to my trying to help. Yep, big help I was. But damnit, she was my sister. I couldn't just leave her here to raise Caitlin on her own. I mean, I'm sure she's capable of doing it and what the hell did I know about raising kids, but I couldn't just walk away could I?

I stopped at the end of the hall and looked back at her open doorway. I felt tense and this was never good for me. This was ridiculous! Why should I care what she's going through anyway? I never cared that I didn't have a sister before, what makes this any different? It's different because I do have a sister. Two of them to be exact. I can't just walk away from family now that I know I have it.

My tension was slowly turning to loneliness, a feeling i knew all to well. Don't get me wrong, I usually didn't mind the company of my own solitude, but today things were just....off.

My eye's slowly drifted to the floor as I turned to leave. She hadn't made the attempt to come after me, so why should I bother going back to her. She had my number, she if wanted to use it, ok. If not, that's her issue now, not mine.

I took a step forward and heard the floor creak some where behind me and down the hall. I froze and held my breathe oddly hoping to hear my own voice calling out to me.

((Open to Ang..))
7 Tales | Tainted Tale

[Sunday, February 19th, 2006 @ 12:03am]

So I had enough talk about Sam, just lately I've been thinking a lot, maybe it was the train ride over and seeing the couples. I swear it was a love cruise, except on land or something weird like that. Like God if he existed... was mocking me for my lost. I kept trying to focus on Alex and the way she made me feel, and the way when I first saw her, I felt out of breathe and maybe even weak in the knee's. although I'll never admit it. But it was time to let go and move on, what was that saying? If you live in the past you miss the future? No, that wasn't it, but it's close enough.

I grabbed my bags from the car and followed Alex to the house. "Nice place, I like it. How very American of you" I said teasingly as I followed her towards the door. I waited for her to unlock the door and I followed her in. I looked at the lock on the door, not even a deadbolt, maybe this is Pleasentville and there is no crime. "Alex? Do you mind if I beef up security a little bit?" I asked as I walked through the hallway. "That lock on the door wouldn't hold up against anything if it wanted to come in." I said. What can I do?! Military is part of my life, keeping things that matter secure are definitly a priority. And Alex is someone I care for, someone I could quite possibly care a lot for.

I put my bags into the room she had pointed out, I just tossed them onto the bed and followed her into the kitchen. "Really Alex, anything is ok, I haven't had a home cooked meal in god know's how long, I'd kill for anything." I said with a smile as I took a seat. We chatted for a few minutes. "Since obviously you don't need any help, is it ok if I grab a shower real quick?" I asked. She nodded and I walked towards the bedroom and grabbed my clothes and towel and then headed for the shower.

After my shower and getting dressed I walked back into the kitchen and just stood against the doorframe watching her. She was beautiful, her long blone hair, the way she moved... Snap out of if Finn! I cleared my throat. "It smells delicious!" I said as I took a seat at the bar. "You sure you don't need any help?" I asked.
44 Tales | Tainted Tale

[Saturday, January 28th, 2006 @ 8:52am]

I barely noticed anything, except the precipitation from my eyes that rolled down my face as I made my way back to my domicile. There were no utterances or any form of speaking to anyone as I walked past them towards my personal living quarters.

I even ignored Wesley as I passed him by, shutting the door behind me as I strode into the room designated for me when we relocated to this living arrangement. It was the only man made abode that I really could call my own. I stood there, fists clenched, wanting to rip everything apart and destroy it, for what is this place anyway? Like a four walled cement cage! I am godking! I deserve a palace and shrines!

I stared at myself in the mirror. I was only fooling myself. "Look at you, vile, putrid, waste of humanity! Letting these emotions drive your every action and need! You are a godking!" I screamed, my shell melting away and revealing my true form.

"It is of no consequence that your power is diminished. Your existence is still that of a godking!"

Even as I spoke those words, something deep inside of me doubted them. I cursed myself for having such conflicts. Once again, human emotion won over and before I could stop myself I had smashed the mirror, unable to continue to look at myself.

"I am a godking." I said outloud, trying desperately to believe in myself and failing miserably. Blood flowed out of my hand as I looked at it. "Weak, pathetic human, that is what I am."

[Open to Wesley, who surely heard this ruckus]
13 Tales | Tainted Tale

[Wednesday, January 11th, 2006 @ 12:24am]

[ mood | contemplative ]

Things had been going so well then he mentions wanting to go out…I can’t go out. I don’t know why I am so nervous, no one really saw me in town and I am not sure they could find me and why would they want to burn me at the stake…that hasn’t been done in hundreds of years and nothing is going to be accomplished here. I guess that means I am going out with him. I shouldn’t be worried anyway. Gunn will make sure I am ok, and the park isn’t that populated, so really nothing to stress about and he should be able to have some kind of good day since he got here, he is healed now after all.

“Gunn…if we go out will you give me some slack on the whole being nervous about going out thing?” I asked him. Sue me, I am who I am, and I know what fanatics can do if they put their mind to it. I also know he is right, and I can’t help if I stay inside all the time, this will be a nice change. I didn't wait for his answer, instead I started gathering my things. Maybe we could sit and read in the sun or something, anything that would help the both of us relax would be nice.

"Ok, lets go out, do you think we could sit and read some too? I mean out at the park?"

[[open for Gunn]]

34 Tales | Tainted Tale

[Tuesday, January 10th, 2006 @ 12:51pm]

[ mood | restless ]

Another day, and another excuse to get out of that dorm. It's not that bad really. Actually growing kind of fond of some of those boys. The educator in me I guess. But the reality is I wasn't sent here to baby sit. I was sent here to identify a problem and get rid of it. Might not be a watcher, a slayer, or the new vogue of the moment, a vampire, but I was gonna do just that. My mother didn't die for nothing. And she sure as hell didn't die so Spike could have a fancy new coat. Her life, and her death taught me something. I may have not understood it when I was young; may have even hated her for it. Yeah, not my proudest moment... But the lesson is sometimes you gotta do things; things you might not like- You might even have to associate with a few people you don't like, no names, for the greater good.

So yeah, maybe I'm not a slayer. My mother was, and the man who raised me; one of the best watchers I've ever known. No offense to Giles. So tonight, I think I'm gonna do some damage. No, tonight I will do some damage. And then possibly get very drunk. But that's another story.

Faith and I had agreed on a meeting place as we seem to end up bumping in to each other every time we step out the door. I'm not complaining, at least no one's paired me up with Spike as a patrol buddy. That would be cause to go get a little cranky. Okay, maybe crankier is the better term... Haven't been in the best mood lately. Haven't really been in the loop either.

I stood leaning against some statue, nothing big. Probably some clan leader or whatever the local town hero is around here. Who knows with these people? The college kids seem for the most part okay, but our visits with the local bar dwellers have proved...well, let's just say they've definitely given me a new outlook on mankind and leave it a that.

C'mon Faith, 10 minutes late. If it was anyone else I'd be worried, but Faith, she can take care of herself. She can also take me in a fight, which is why I probably wouldn't be pointing out the ten minutes late...but still.

(open to Faith)

1 Tale | Tainted Tale

[Monday, December 26th, 2005 @ 8:45pm]

Girls, girls everywhere!!! My God. Was I ever this annoying? I thought about it for a minute and smiled. Sure I was, and bet it drove Giles insane. That didn't help the fact that I wanted to pull my hair out right about now though. Seriously, what was I thinking when I agreed to do this? Well, we know what I was thinking...save the world, beat the bad guy, blah blah blah...but come on these girls were enough to make you want to commit yourself. There was only one thing to do...

Kill them all!

Ok, ok, so not my best idea. But with the way they drive me crazy I'm convinced they're all evil. Yep, I said it, evil. Some where behind all those smiling, giggly faces was a slimy, rip your heart out, demon. They had to be stopped.

I threw on my coat and left. I needed to get away before I really did do something drastic. Holding the pillow over my face and screaming until I turned blue didn't seem to be doing the trick anymore. God help me, don't ever let me have children I thought. Speaking of children, I wounder what Dawn is up too? I shrugged at the thought and decided to make my way toward Angels. I can't remember when the last time I saw him, and I was in serious need of adult conversation; someone with depth and who has more depth then a broody vampire.

I think I might have actually been mumbling to myself (first signs of insanity mind you) when I got to Angels. I took a deep breath, happy to be anywhere but back with the girls. This would be a nice change of pace. There wasn't much to do around here so a nice long one on one with Angel would be great.


I could hear voices inside. So much for a one on one. Oh well, the more the merrier I guess.


I stopped dead when I saw who the other voice belonged to. Both of them turned to look at me and all I could do was stare. You got to be kidding me! What was she doing here? I mean, hey hi, glad your not dead but what are you doing here sort of stare. I looked over at Angel hoping for a quick explanation, I mean it's not everyday you see the undead. Ok, I guess in this group you do, but still.

((Angel & Cordy))
14 Tales | Tainted Tale

[Thursday, December 22nd, 2005 @ 7:07pm]

Ice cream it is. We headed upstairs to the kitchen while Angelina and Gwen headed elsewhere. I hoped they were able to talk it out. I was worried about Angelina. But right now, the more important thing is keeping Caitlen from worrying too much. Ice cream is good for soothing worries. Hopefully, it would be good for getting Cait to not worry.

"I'm sure they have plenty of ice cream here, as many women that live in this place." I told Caitlen. There's probably a variety of flavors too. If Caitlen's not too picky, we'll be in business as soon as I get a look at what's in the freezer. I wondered if Illyria would want to try some ice cream. Might make her less depressed and sad.

I thought about this as we came out of the basement, and then I noticed Xander and that girl. I focused on her, smelling the air. Slayer. Of course. He can't date a normal girl, so he dates a slayer. And not only that, he bloody brings her here. Good thing Illy's looking like Fred, even if it is unsettling. I wonder what else she's seen today. I saw her look over my way, and so I busied myself with getting ice cream for Cait. I already had one slayer on my plate, and that's bloody enough.

"So Cait, any particular flavor of ice cream you like best?"

[Open to Caitlen, Illyria, Xander, and Jackie]
18 Tales | Tainted Tale

[Wednesday, December 21st, 2005 @ 12:14am]

I follow Angelina up the stairs, it's odd to see your own ass in front of your face. I chuckle and shake my head. I let myself be led and try to stuff down the nervousness swelling in my gut. I feel uncomfortable with how comfortable I am with her. We haven't even said twenty words to each other and yet it's as if some part of me has clicked into place, a piece I didn't even know was missing.

"I guess this is your room?" I ask as we walk into a room that I almost feel as if I recognize. "You've got good taste. Or, at least, my taste."
26 Tales | Tainted Tale

[Wednesday, December 14th, 2005 @ 9:24pm]

[ mood | confused ]

I looked through the box in amazement, seeing the papers before me. It was a birth certificate, my birthday, but the name here isn't mine. I couldn't believe that my parents had done this. I know that mom had something to do with this, my father couldn't have been this cold and heartless. What gets me most is that I have a sister one that I never even knew esisted. I think on some level I knew that she existed, it was like a constant case of deja vu, but she was never real to me. Because of this I have thought I was losing my mind, which isn't fair. While I was looking through this I could tell Spike was bored, but this was a huge discovery so I was glad he didn't say anything.

After about 30 minutes of just staring at the papers I returned my gaze to the box. That is when I noticed more papers. Thse papers showed me exactly how heartless my parents were. They had signed over all rights and there was a copy of a confidentiality agreement. It stated that in the case she ever found out she was adopted she could not attempt to locate her birth parents.

I don't know what my parents feared, why they felt they had to go to such lengths to hide from her. This all was almost too much, truths of what lengths my parents would go to hide, evade, whatever, showed me what kinds of people they were and made me remember why I could never really like them.

The only thing that I was worried about now was Cait...how is she going to take this news? How is she going to handle knowing that our parents were able to just push away our sister? I know I can count on her to be mature about it, to be strong in front of everyone else, but somehow I think it won't last.... Something in me tells me that one day she is just going to explode. I don't know that for a fact, but I think it will happen.

Right now I am more worried about getting back to the house and finding out where this girl is. I have to know her, I have to meet the girl that is the other half of me, maybe then I will know why my parents had to hide her from us. She never got to know Rebekah and Chris, but she will get to know Cait and I, if its the last thing I do. I don't know why this is so important to me, why I feel like I owe her, but I do. I guess it is because I feel like I have to show her that I am not them, that I would have been there for her if I had known.

I gather everything from the box, even the money that was shoved in there and pulled Spike by the arm back to the car. Once we were to the car I realized Spike had the keys. Rather than fight with him I decided to just let him drive and bitch about it later. I wanted to get back to the house and figure this out. I think that Spike enjoyed the chance to drive the car, he sped down the street and had us back to the house in record time.

I darted past them, but Willow and Gunn were talking in the kitchen and she suddenly shot out of her seat and I couldn't move. Ok what the hell? "Willow let me go"

She glared at me. "Are you really Angelina?"

"Yes, it is me, good god, can you let me go so I can find....wait what did you mean is it really me?"

"well, you have a twin and she is locked in the basement I used magicks in public and I didn't trust her and well I kind of was left with the choice of either letting her go and risking our cover even more or bringing her back here and locking her up and making sure she didn't tell. I know it isn't logical but hell I didn't know what else to do and....." She was about to say more but her incessant rambling was driving me even madder than I was.

"Good god Willow, breath....so she is in the basement?" I asked she nodded sheepishly. "Ok I have to go to her, don't try to stop me." She sighed and let me go I ran down the stairs and found the drama in the basement.

Shit, my sister is here, the look a like of me is here and now Illyria is here..this is going to end well.

"What are you doing in here Illyria?" Ok so it wasn't the best way to start a conversation...sue me.

[[open for Illyria, Gwen, Spike, and Cait.]]

18 Tales | Tainted Tale

[Tuesday, December 13th, 2005 @ 9:52pm]

It was probably the pick-me-upper that I needed. Something to give my sunken spirits a glimmer of optimism that I could make a life for myself in this new town. And I owe it all to Willow.

Originally, I had gone over next door in search of something to drink, something to yet again drown out all those feelings of guilt and remorse and everything else that seemed to be bearing its weight down upon me. But instead of finding what I needed in liquid form, I had found something else: hope.

A simple spell would be all it took to give me a helping hand, something to get me out of this godforsaken house and out into the world once again. A glamor to disguise my green visage so that the straight-laced and obscenely pious population of this one-horse town wouldn't stone me to death upon first sight. It was something, at least.

Although, Willow had brought up the other idea as well, you know, the whole nightclub thing. I honestly thought she was grasping for straws on that one. After all, I was really in no position or shape to be pulling myself together enough to even think about it. The entire concept seemed, well, laughable. Heck, i'd have to cross one bridge at a time, the first one being getting my act together. I'd spent way too many days lounging on the couch, with absolutely no thoughts of being a lounge lizard. As long as I had a bottle in my hand, what else was there for me?

But now.. I would be able to leave the house. I would be able to stretch my legs, get some fresh air, and maybe even allow myself to live again. Who woulda thought?

After I had left Willow with the anticipation of casting the spell on me, I raided their kitchen for a bottle of vodka before I headed back home. Hey, I know I promised Willow I would stop drinking, but I never said I would do it cold-turkey. I made my way back next door, walking hurriedly across the front lawn, making sure no cars passed by as I mad dashed back home. When I got inside, I kicked off my shoes and tossed my fedora back on the peg beside the door. Making my way back inside, I threw myself down on the couch, uncapped my bottle, and settled in for another long day.

[[Hey.. anyone in the house?]]
Tainted Tale

[Tuesday, December 6th, 2005 @ 9:05pm]

[ mood | melancholy ]

So I'm here in Georgia and wondering why I'm here in Georgia. I haven't heard much from Angel's house, and I seem to be pulling a post Pylea Fred here, not leaving my room much except to eat and explore the house a little. And man am I enjoying my jacuzzi tub. It helps with the pain from my knee and back. I can even sink low enough to get my neck pain if I want to. It really helps me relax too.

Another thing that helps me relax is that Willow's room is just down the hall. It's nice to have a friend here. I don't know much of the others, but whenever I've run into someone, they seem nice enough. I met a girl named Angelina who's room is close to mine, and she seems alright too. And she's an exact copy of Gwen, which is freaky, let me tell you. I wonder what happened to Gwen. Anyway, I guess I need to be more social, put my charm on and try to make friends.

I just worry that I'm useless here. With my injuries, and the nightmares, I don't sleep much and I can't do much. Some days I'm just in daze and it's hard to focus. The dreams usually start with Fred and then she dissolves into a demon that's beating on me and then there's more and I wake up screaming and sweating sometimes. It's weird because I think I deserve all of this, and so I don't try so hard to deal with it or do something about it.

Oh well. I'm here, I've got to be good for something, right? I decide to walk around the house for awhile, see what's what. I walk out to the kitchen area since my stomach is a bit grumbly and I see Willow there. I can't help but smile. She's my only sunshine in this dark time of my life.

"Hey Willow, how's it goin'? I asked her as I walk, well hobble, over to her.

[Open to the lovely Willow]

42 Tales | Tainted Tale

[Monday, December 5th, 2005 @ 12:29am]

I fight a wave of nausea as the crazy bitch zips us to some basement. I watch her leave and feel my paralysis diminish, falling to my knees and coughing, swallowing repeatedly to keep from vomiting. I take several deep breaths, before standing, looking for a way out. I walk up the stairs where I saw her leave and start yelling. "You crazy fucking bitch! You think you can just fucking keep me here!??!" I start feeling around the door, looking for any kind of current running behind the walls. I know I can get out of here if I can just find something to work with. I growl as I feel a faint current, but as I try to tap into it, I feel some kind of magical barrier around it. I pound on the door with my fists, yelling louder as I feel the door not even giving at all beneath my fists. It's obvious Willow doesn't intend to let me out. I keep screaming, hoping someone, ANYONE will hear me.

((open to anyone in the house that might hear her screaming hee))
12 Tales | Tainted Tale

[Saturday, November 26th, 2005 @ 1:55pm]

My own advice has and always will be, that the best cure on earth for the mother of all hangovers is to get up and keep drinking until it goes away. At least that's what I tell myself.

Last night was a real doozy. I'd spent the duration of it in a stupor, curled up on the couch nursing my bottle of tequila until I drained it down to the very bitter end.

I found that there wasn't really much else to do around here. I wasn't a slayer or a champion, so there weren't any fighting skills to keep in top form. I didn't have much in the way of booksmarts, so there wasn't much reading to be done either. Infact, when it all boiled down to it, everyone around here had a purpose but me. No one needed a song, no one needed a quip and no one needed any of my award winning charm.


Who the hell was I kidding? Not like I had any of that lying around anymore. So even if anyone wanted to be serenaded or consoled by good ole' Lorney-kins, I had nothing left to give. Period.

And at that thought, I rubbed at my red and tired eyes to realize I was still lying on the couch from last night. Must've passed out. The sun coming in from the window was bright, and I shielded my eyes and sat up. There was no one around as per normal, more than likely out enjoying the fact that they could wander around in broad daylight WITHOUT being a gigantic green eyesore.

I stood up and decided that, before I continued on with my drinking binge, I might have a shower. However, it didn't make me feel much better when I was done, so I dressed and wandered back into the kitchen in search of my liquid cure. I pulled open the fridge and found only a carton of milk and some of Angel's blood. I moved onto the cupboards and found only canned goods and tea. I must have polished off the last bottle last night. I really needed a drink but there was no way I was going to even attempt to leave the house.

Unless of course, our friendly neighbors might have a little something in their cupboards..

I made my way down the hallway of the house, slipping on my shoes at the door and my fedora from the hat rack. I pulled open the door and made my way across the lawn to the house next door, in hopes or hospitable comrades might have something in the form of a tasty beverage. I made my way to the front doorstep and pushed open the door. "Anyone home?" I called out as I kicked off my shoes and made my way inside.

In the living room I found Willow, Xander, and a slayer. "Hey guys," I greeted them as I made my way into their kitchen without skipping a beat. "Got anything to drink around here?"

((Open to whoever!))
20 Tales | Tainted Tale

[Saturday, November 26th, 2005 @ 9:54am]

I was already awake, showered, dressed. I wasn't sleeping well lately. I was nervous because Cordy is staying in the room across from mine. It's so weird to have her back. I keep expecting the other to shoe fall and her to go evil.

Nothing is ever this easy. I've grown to be suspicious when something seems to be easy, like Cordelia just walking right back into my life on a mission from the PTB. I don't want to be paranoid because it's Cordy, and yet I am.

I'm thinking about these things when I hear a knock at my door and who but Cordelia is asking to come into my room. Why would she want to come in here? I wasn't sure my guard should be up or down, but I had to give a chance. I just have to convince myself that's she's not evil.

"Uh...sure." I said, walking over and opening the door. "Is something wrong? Did you have a vision, you still have those, right?"

I didn't mean to inundate her, but I was on alert with a big evil in town and was still nervous about her.

[Open to Cordelia]
10 Tales | Tainted Tale

Crushing [Tuesday, November 15th, 2005 @ 4:36pm]

I had lunch with Connor the other day. It's nice knowing a couple people here. Connor's really cute. I wonder if it's weird because he's Angel's son. I mean, it's not like he's related to me or anything. And when Buffy was with Angel, Connor wasn't even born yet, so it's not like Buffy was his step-mom or anything.

I'm totally overthinking this anyway. I mean, it's not like we're dating or anything. It was just lunch. Lunch with a really cute, nice guy. Maybe I'll try to "accidentally" run into him again. Oh my God, now I'm a total stalker. But if anyone's stalk-worthy, it's Connor.
8 Tales | Tainted Tale

[Saturday, November 12th, 2005 @ 10:59pm]

Books. Wesley has great enjoyment with these ink filled pages. Dull pages with nothing but facts and information. It seems to only serve the purpose of knowledge. Wesley spends hours upon hours reading these books and partaking of their knowledge. I pick up one, and start methodically read the pages, trying to understand what he finds so fascinating about them.

There's nothing in these books that I don't already know. As a godking, my knowledge has no limits. Especially knowlege of the old world, the way it used to be, the way I used to know it. This book is not relaying anything to me that is unknown or of any interest to me. I shut the book and try another one.

I hear him though he doesn't know it yet. He has caught me looking at his books, trying hard to find something, a piece of information just so I could I talk to him. It's pathetic how lonely and destitute I have become just to get him to pay attention to me and not look at me in disdain because of the shell I live in. I cannot control these feelings, and it leaves me attracted to him more and more each day.

"These books. You like them. You look in them everyday like the ink might metamorphose into new information and give you the answer you seek." I looked at him. "There's nothing here that I don't already have knowledge of. Your answer is not located here. I could help you find what you're looking for."

[Open to Wesley]
4 Tales | Tainted Tale

New house? Wha...? [Monday, November 7th, 2005 @ 5:59pm]

[ mood | giddy ]

FlashbackCollapse )

1 Tale | Tainted Tale

[Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005 @ 10:16pm]

[ mood | rejected ]

Things have been great. School is great, my watcher is great, I can't complain about anything. I do hope Nicolette's uncle gets better soon, I miss her. But I have to say, there's nothing I can really complain about. Right now, I'm heading out to see another great part of my life, my boyfriend Charlie. He's just...everything I could want in a guy. I visit him everyday at work, and we talk, and sometimes even go out on dates on the weekends. I only wish I could spend more time with him.

I get in my car and follow the familiar route to the E.C. Cafe. I park my car, get my purse, and say hi to some people I know from class. People are so friendly here. It's hard to imagine that some big even is in a nice town like this, even if it is rather strict with rules and religion. Still, people say hi to you on the street. I like that. I stop to check myself in the cafe window. I wasn't supposed to come see Charlie today, but I couldn't stay away from him. I decided to surprise him with a unscheduled visit.

It's then that I notice him talking to a girl sitting at the table I usually sit at. Well that's not so odd, he has an assigned section. They're laughing and she touches his arm. Must be someone he knows from class or around town. He is from around here, so no big deal. I bet she's from around here too. Probably more like a sister or best friend to him than...wait, sisters and best friends don't do that, they don't kiss each other with tongue like that! I'm so shocked. I can't believe he's kissing someone else.

I feel like my life is crashing down around me. There has to be a good explanation - no, there is no good explanation for sharing lips and tongue with a girl who's not your girlfriend. My cheeks burn in anger. I could go in there and kick his ass if I wanted to...but I can't blow my cover and now I just want to go to my room and cry. No, wait, go to Alexandra's. At least I have her to talk to now that Nicolette is hardly around. I turn to go back to my car and nearly knock down someone behind me.

"Oh, I-I'm sorry. Excuse me." I tried to say through the tears.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" the person, the guy, asked me.

"I'm fine. I'm sorry. I have to go." I say as I try to walk away.

[Open to Xander]

34 Tales | Tainted Tale

[Monday, October 24th, 2005 @ 12:05pm]

"Could you boys keep it down!" I let out a sigh. "Nevermind me, please feel free to waste your college years. Not like any of you will be productive members of society anyway..."

My screaming turned into mumbling as I shut the door to my room.

Of course there were more important things going on in this town than a bunch of rambunctious college boys, but knowing that didn't help my headache any.

Then again maybe that's just what I needed. To focus on the more important matters.

The gossip around the mens dorms is that something strange is happening over at one of the women's dorms. And while I highly doubt that several of the students living there are actually sex crazed extraterrestrials, who will kill you after they 'get what they want.' It doesn't take much to tell something about this town isn't right. Sure it may seem normal. Or as normal as a southern town populated almost solely by white hill folk and absent minded college students can be. But if you know where to look it isn't that hard to see this place has a not only seedy but somewhat supernatural underbelly.

Also from what I've heard the slayer's ex, the slayer being Buffy, had joined our little group. Personally, I say it's a good thing. Can always use another player on our side.

Besides that, I'm fresh out of new information. And therefore now would seem like a good time for a little recon. Just hope if I get in any real trouble someone will have my back. Hopefully someone not of the vampire variety. Maybe someone of the the slayer variety, attitude problem. Who am I kidding? I'd take Giles as backup at this point. I just need to get away from these boys, even if it is only for a while.

As I stuffed a stake into my pocket I left my room and headed out the building. Then, I turned and looked at the fine young men of Wellons Hall. It was my job to keep an eye on them. "Hey guys, I'm leaving. Stay out of trouble. And please, don't do anything stupid." I shook my head as I continued out the door. They didn't hear me. For one thing I wasn't talking loud enough. Even if I had been, it's a little to late for them to either stay out of trouble or not do anything stupid. Best I can hope for at this point is that they don't poke their eyes out and that there's either a trash can or toilet nearby when they eventually throw up. Which, I'm willing to bet, most of them will. Kids these days. And to think, I spent college studying.

Once I had escaped my own personal prison I thought about where to go next. I couldn't exactly go sneaking around the girls dorms. Well, I could. But then I'd get thrown out. And as tempting as that sounds, I have a job to do.

I ended up deciding to walk around campus. With any luck one our group would see me and decide to tag along. If not, I'm pretty sure I can handle myself.

(Open to Faith or anyone who feels so inclined)
3 Tales | Tainted Tale

[Sunday, October 23rd, 2005 @ 5:37pm]

[ mood | bored ]

Another bloody boring day at the house. We haven't done bloody much since we got here, it's a hoot, let me tell you. Can't get enough of this small Christian town that I have to hide from or I'll get arrested because of my heathen looks. Bollocks.

If it wasn't for Angelina, I would have left. Another slayer, but she's not like bloody Buffy. She's...well she's hotter, wears way more leather, and not breaking my heart just yet. We've been talking, actual talk, for a few days now. I'm wishing there could be some action, but I don't want another slayer kicking my ass, so talk it is. For now.

I've already snooped every nook and cranny of this house, and so has that blue freak. She was following me around the other day, and almost started a fight with me. Bloody hell she's annoying, and pining after Wesley like nobody's business. She's more pathetic than me right now. Won't leave the house much or anything. I think she might be depressed, if that's possible for her.

Anyway, so here I sit, hanging out by the telly and watching whatever's on...I wish Passions was on, but it just ended. I'm so bloody bored, I wish Angelina were here...

[Open to Angelina]

22 Tales | Tainted Tale

Just arriving. [Sunday, October 23rd, 2005 @ 3:02pm]

I swing my leg over the side of my motorcycle, looking at the nicest hotel in Franklin Springs, which isn't really saying much. "What the hell were you thinking Gwen?" I ask myself as I hoist a duffle bag over my shoulder and grab the other suitcase strapped to the back of my bike. I check in and take my bags upstairs, flopping on the bed. I look at my cell phone and wonder if I should dial Angel's number, doubtful that he'd answer anyway. I shrug and dial, rolling my eyes when his voicemail picks up, not bothering to leave a message. I pick up the phone in the room, calling the front desk. "Yes, hello, are there any decent oriental restaurants around here? Excellent, thank you." I hang up and grab my keys, heading out. I jump on my bike and drive to the restaurant, waiting to be seated.
54 Tales | Tainted Tale

I want to hate you half as much as I hate myself... [Monday, October 17th, 2005 @ 10:50am]

"you evil bastard."

The door opened and he walked in. Mr. Daniel Hart. Wasnt it enough that he fucked me inside and out? Guess not. I came to and realized that I was chained naked to this...thing. Never been here before. He walked towards me with something in his hand...

A phone.

"You need to call your roommate and tell her you're watching over your sick uncle a few towns over. We dont need to put up a red flag."

I nodded a little. Anything to keep him off of me.

I dialed the number and he held the phone to my face and a knife to my throat. So I dont tip her off, I guess.

"Jackie? It Nicolette. Just wanted to let you know that I might not be home for a few days."

I felt him staring at me and the knife tightening on my throat.

"My uncle is really, really sick and I have to take care of him. We dont know whats wrong with him, home doctors have been in and out of his house. None of his bloodwork has come back yet."

I nodded to Mr. Hart, saying that she believed it.

"Okay, thanks. I'll see you when I get back. Dont worry about me!"

He hung the phone up.

"There, I did it."

He nodded at me and I knew that there was something that I should tell him before he finds out that I was keeping it from him.

"I..uh..the other day, I saw Buffy. She's in town."
6 Tales | Tainted Tale

[Sunday, October 16th, 2005 @ 1:27pm]

I am so.....UNCLEAN!!!

That was THE most horrible experience of my life!!! I don't know why I put up with the damn Harts...they tell me to do something....I do it, annd they VIOLATE ME for doing what they told me to do!!! I swear one day I'm going to get so mad that they won't see me comming....

I don't even fell like recalling what happened in that room with Mrs. Hart, things just went from bad to worse when the chains came off and the ropes went on....ugh...I jsut wanted to get out of there along with Nicollette....I didn't even know where she went...Hart's son took her somewhere in the house and I went and looked for her after I was beaten and tourtured by Mrs. Hart. Stumbling around all over the house until Bonsworth err the butler literally threw me out of hte house onnto the street.

She's still trapped in there.... I thought to myself. And there wasn't anything I could do about it. I headed back to the dorm continually worrying about Nicolette....If anything happens to her...

{{Open to Connor}}
10 Tales | Tainted Tale

[Saturday, October 15th, 2005 @ 5:26pm]

Why am I here??

Coming to Georgia was a huge mistake...everything is a huge mistake...I should still be greiving over Sam....not going back to my old roots connectinng with the person I left...

After Sam died...I left the military. I was done. I couldn't do it anymore, seeing the death, monsters...I vowed not to get innvolved in any supernatural stuff ever again. I couldn't go back to the states especially California knowing what w as waiting there. I couldn't go back and just do nothing while innocent people were getting killed. So I moved to South Africa. I don't know why, all I knew was the Military...I guess since I was helping villages back in Spain and South America I could do the same in Africa. So I did my little own Peace Core mission.

I spent a couple of months down there helping villages in need, I still had a couple of connections so I made a lot of people happy. But I wasnt happy. I was missing Sam way too much. I knew it wasn't my fault, but in some way it was. I should've been protecting her. And now she's dead...because of me.

One day something happened that I really wish didn't...I ran into a familliar face in the marketplace. Xander. He filled me in - reluctantly - about what went on after I left. He and Anya didn't get married, Willow turning evil, something about The First Evil destroying Sunnydale and taking Anya and Spike with him. solemnly I told him about Sam and we both shared a moment. I knew where he was coming from cause I went through it myself, I'm still going through it.

He asked me what I was doing here and I told him about my mission, unofficialy. He told me if I was looking to help that Giles was starting a new Watchers Council in England...well me being my stupid self figured I couldn't do much more here and flew to England to meet Giles. He stationed me there and I helped to bring the new Watchers Council in order...

Thats where I met Alexandra. In a strange way she reminded me of Sam....younger but something about her just made me smile when I first met her. She had a wonderful accent, cheery smile and a great personality. I worked with her a while, then she told me she was heading back to the states to bring the new council into order....she asked me to come with her...

I wasn't too sure about that...seeing everyone again, but again me being my stupid self said yes...and I headed on that midnight train to gerogia - so to speak - and now I'm here. Staying with Alexandra and having to face everyone again...real soon. Not so sure 'm ready for that...

Why am I here?

Cause I'm stupid thats why.

{Open to Alexandra}
21 Tales | Tainted Tale

[Monday, October 3rd, 2005 @ 8:10pm]

[ mood | calm ]

This drive has been amazing. Charles and I have seen a lot and we have been just about everywhere along the way.

We saw things that I would have never seen in California, like a club in oklahoma that they actually had bull riders inside the club. Now mind you Charles insisted we leave quickly, but I thought it was interesting. There was also this place downtown by where the hotel was that is a garden inside a "crystal bridge" and may other places.

Now mind you this was in Oklahoma city, most people would think country and there wouldn't be nice things, but the hotel we stayed in was one of the nicest I had ever seen. We stayed in the Sheraton hotel Presedential Suite. I couldn't believe that we even ended up in this room, it just happened the moment I handed them the credit card they seemed to just jump to attention and rush to please us and our every need.

I have to say though this room was amazing, it had better furniture than any home I had ever lived in, and the robes they gave us, oh my goddess, they were so plushy and warm. I definatly have to convince Giles to let us come and stay here again soon..or find one in Georgia to stay in. Ok so I have become Cordelia over night. I have turned into someone who likes to be pampered...Sue me!

Other than that the trip has been rather boring. I have to admit though, that no matter how nice the hotels have been, and the gorgeous sites we have seen, I was thrilled to be somewhere that was fixed. I was sick of being in a car with a trailer behind it, sick of having to stay in contact with Giles and telling him why we were stopping so much. I think on some level that he knew that if we didn't stop as much Charles wouldn't make it, so he understood...on some level.

We pulled up to the Angel's house, the movers had apparently been there, cars were in both driveways and the houses were furnished, but the one thing they didn't inform us of was there weren't enough rooms before we started carrying things in so I had to carry it all back out. Charles seemed upset, though he seemed to accept it anyway. "You know...you can stay in the house I am in. If anything, you can stay in the room for me, I don't mind the couch for a while. I--If you want." I said nervously. "I..I mean, I don't know what the other house looks like, but I will figure something out for you."

[[Gorgeous Charles....TAG]]

2 Tales | Tainted Tale

Well that was...interesting [Friday, September 30th, 2005 @ 9:33am]

I finished my lunch, and my conversation with Nicolette. She ended up taking the table next to mine and we talked over our food. Boy, could she eat! She's like a bottomles pit, stick thin, and not even a slayer! I think I would know. She was...interesting...to say the least. There was something about that girl that just made me go "What the?" Weird. Obviously not a vampire, it was sunny out. I just dont know. Maybe I'm a little off 'cause this town gives me the wiggins.

I made my way through town and did a little shopping. I picked up a top and some boots. Just 'cause I could, really. After that I went back to the house, it was still a mess from moving, everything was still in boxes.

"Home sweet home...okay maybe not."

I went into my room and dropped my bags off. It was a nice house, I loved it. My room was cool too. Nice view, big bed, huge bathroom and closet! Just what I liked. I decided to go into the bathroom and take a hot shower. My shoulders were tense and I needed to loosen them up. Lighting a few vanilla candles, I turned the lights in the bathroom low and soked for a good hour. I was a bit pruny after, but I felt so good. I slipped into my robe and went back into my room. As soon as I hit the bed, the phone rang.


I went and answered it.


"You win."

It took me a second to recognize the voice.


"Where do we meet you at when we get there?"

I smiled. She decided to come after all. Hopefully it wont be that big of a problem having her here.

"3045 College heights. I'll be here when you arrive."

We hung up. I blow dried my hair and got dressed. After I was ready, I went and sat on the porch, waiting for them to get here.

[[open to Angelina and Caitlen]]
12 Tales | Tainted Tale

[Wednesday, September 28th, 2005 @ 11:54pm]

I could hardly wait until 7pm. I didn't see much of Nicolette, but I figured she was out with that boy toy of hers again. At least she has someone to take her mind off of me. We get along, but I think I get on her nerves a lot. I guess I'm just nice enough that she tolerates me. I really do try, though. It was kind of lonely being in my dorm room alone, though.

I decided to go get some dinner at the cafe and talk to my guy, Charlie. His nametag says Charles, but he lets me call him Charlie. He says he likes the way I say it. He's so adorable. And, well, okay, he's not my guy yet, but I go there at least once a day when I know he's working and I talk to him. Sometimes, he goes on a break and he sits down with me and we talk. He's a really nice guy and this Friday, we have a date. I'm so nervous, but at the same time, I'm really excited. I haven't had a boyfriend since my junior year of high school, and I'm really hoping Charlie and I work out.

He was there, as usual, and we talked a bit as I ate some dinner. I've almost gotten him in trouble so many times, but he always tells me not to worry about it. We chatted a little about what movie we're going to see on Friday, and then I happened to glance at my watch. If I didn't leave now, I was going to be late. I told Charlie I had to go and as usual, he understood. He had to get back to work anyway. Then he kissed my cheek and got back to work, leaving me almost in a puddle of goo at my table. My cheek still felt warm from his kiss.

I finally got into my car and rushed over to Professor Whitney's house. Miraculously, I didn't get lost and pulled up into her driveway. Wow, what a nice house she has. She must have some money, yeah, I bet the council pays her well. Before I could even get out of my car, Alexandra had come out, freaking out that I drove to her house after she told me to be discreet. Oops. I guess I wasn't thinking. I parked the car in her garage, and then we went into her house.

"Sorry about that. I'll be more discreet next time, I promise."

[Open To Professor, I mean Alex Whitney]
18 Tales | Tainted Tale

Why? [Thursday, September 15th, 2005 @ 7:03pm]

[ mood | nervous ]

I woke up and it was a normal morning. Jackie already gone and her side of the room all perfect. My side of the room? Well, lets just say its not my highest priority. Stumbling out of bed and into the bathroom to get ready. The shower was hot and steamy. Just how I like it. I got out, blowdried my hair pin straight, then curled it perfectly.

"God I love being drop dead gorgeous."

Didnt need much makeup. Just some mascara, blush and lipstick. All a girl really needs. Last was clothing. I opted for a pair of low rise jeans and a black low-cut top paired with my boots. Couldnt help but blow a kiss at my reflection in the mirror.

I grabbed my purse and got ready to leave when soemthing caught my eye. There was an envelope on the floor. Picking it up, I knew who it was from. There was no mistaking that red ink.

Be at the house at 4pm SHARP. Skip any and all classes that you have to in order to be here. This is not a game. Those who think it is will be eliminated. Remember your dear uncle?

-The Harts

"Well doesnt that sound foreboding?"

I knew they werent happy. I could tell. They didnt send notes like that for fun. I just hope that nobody gets killed over it.

I walked out to the parking lot and hopped in my car. Nervously, I started up the car and drove to the Harts' home. it was massive. Like a palace, really. I guess you make the big bucks in the murdering business.

Parking in the courtyard, I got out of the car bringing my purse. I slowly made my way to the door. As I walked I saw a familiar figure and smiled faintly as I got closer.

*knocks the giant doorknocker*

[[open to Drake and the Harts]]

32 Tales | Tainted Tale

[Saturday, September 3rd, 2005 @ 12:51am]

Road-trip food wasn't exactly filling. Which is why I had Xander drop me off at this little restaurant, not far from the college. He'd offered to stay and eat with me, but I wanted to be alone. Think about things, at least for a little while.

I looked at the plate of pasta in front of me, twirling the noodles with the fork before finally taking a bite. Resting my head on the palm of my hand, with my elbow propped up on the table, I just thought about things.

Big responsibilities were coming up, even starting. Bunch of slayers, me being one of the in-charge people. I'd done it before, and fought something with less girls, and probably a lot more powerful. The First was sort of the thing that created evil.

But, this was something sorta new. I didn't feel as alone in all of this. And the possible addition of a new at least partially trained slayer didn't make things worse.

Another bite of the pasta and I was off in daydream land.

(open to anyone.)
5 Tales | Tainted Tale

[Sunday, August 28th, 2005 @ 1:48pm]

[ mood | anxious ]

I can not even begin to tell you how excited I am about seeing Angel. The fact that Giles is taking me to him, despite his beliefs that I'm not Cordy, is pretty shocking.

When I talk to him, I can finally explain why and how I'm back. God, this was really making me nervous. I haven't seen him in awhile. What if he doesn't feel the same way, anyway. I could have faded away in his memory. I'd kick his ass, if I did.

Giles wasn't talking very much. It bothered me.

"So, where exactly are we going?" We were walking towards a hotel. He was staying here?

At this point, I didn't care. I'm glad I was back. Back for good, this time. I definitely need to do some major shopping. I can't wear this sorry outfit, again.

I sighed, heavily.

Calm down, Cordy. It's okay. I should not be this nervous about seeing Angel. This was all wrong. I can't act like this. I need to get it together. Okay. I can do this. It won't be bad. It'll be perfect.

[[open for Giles and Angel]]

12 Tales | Tainted Tale

[Monday, August 22nd, 2005 @ 7:04am]

[ mood | calm ]

So here we are, on our way back to Franklin Springs, no slayer with us, no sister of a slayer, just us on our way back to the town that cable forgot...ok well they have cable, but still it isn't like we really wanted to be in this town. Luckily we do have an actual home to go to, well I do, Buffy gets to go back to the dorm and play boss to all the girls in the dorm. She should be used to this by now being as she basically did this back in Sunnydale, but this time seemed so different.

This time Buffy wasn't training slayers, she was actually being all secret agenty trying to figure out who killed Kennedy and Ronna. The only person I was most worried about in this little mission of ours is Willow, she is a powerful witch and we are in the holy land here..well as holy as a Christian college town could be, how did Giles think this town would react if they found out? It really didn't seem to matter, Willow as all for this mission, and Giles wouldn't let her get hurt, atleast I hope thats the case.

It wasn't a long trip before we were back in good old Franklin Springs. I dropped Buffy off at the dorm and made my way to the address Giles gave me. It was a nice house, and looked like it was big enough for the whole group. It was only Angel and his team, Giles and I that would be living there anyway, unless Giles had plans to get another house, but I wasn't aware he had the money for that. I guess there was a lot about the council I didn't know.

There was a note on the counter when I finally walked inside, it said I should pick a room, that I should also go with one of the special cars and get Spike and the weird blue chick, Wesley and some horned green guy, I don't know why I wasn't getting Angel too, but I wasn't complaining, I still don't like the guy. Now I just had to put up with the peroxided pest and these other three long enough to get them to this house. God, have I mentioned I hate being Giles' errand boy...one of these days I will be seen as more.

[[open to Lorne, Illyria, Spike, and Wesley This is the house that Angel's team will be staying in.]]

4 Tales | Tainted Tale

What a week! [Friday, August 12th, 2005 @ 9:57pm]

School started and thats going dandy, I guess. Not failing anything yet. So thats a plus!

I did meet this hot guy though. Turns out I already kinda knew him.

The sex was hot, there will be WAY more of those encounters!

I hadnt seen Jackie for a bit, which was no problem. Made it easier to live my minion-y life. I wonder what the Harts have in store for us now? More killing? I hope so, cause then I can only imagine the things me and Drake would do to eachother after the thrill of murder.

"Sweet, sweet murder of innocent girls...mmmm..."

I licked my lips and thought of the possibilities. I went under my bed and pulled out my little locked box and opened it. It had all my pictures in it that I didnt want anyone to see. Pictures we took the night of the murders, pictures of the Harts marking us with the tattoos on the base of our arms, and at the bottom, a picture of my uncle.

"You were stupid to do what you did."

I kissed his picture and placed it aside. Dad gave me Uncle John's minion memorabillia when we buried what we found of him. An arm here, leg there. part of his torso. Mountain lion is what the newspaper said. But we knew...we all knew.

"But I still love you. Miss you too."

I put everything back in the box when I heard someone coming to the door. Well, I thought I heard someone anyways. I locked the box back up and slid it under my bed. I showered and changed. I had some time until my next class, so I decided to take a little walk outside. It was a good day to do that, little bit of a breeze and everything.

[[open if anone wants to join]]
Tainted Tale

[Tuesday, August 9th, 2005 @ 11:22pm]

So, that's that. The meeting between the rest of the humanoids around here left this emerald shaded non-enthusiast wondering where the hell his place was. It was frustrating to say the least. Of all the places we had to go, it had to be smack dab in the middle of this one horse bible thumping town, a place where someone like me would stick out like a sore thumb. Or a green thumb. Or some simile that I didn't even have the drive to invent to describe the way I was feeling.

So I went back to my room, the same place where I spent all of my time now, drinking myself sick to try and forget the cabin fever, and again wonder why the hell I even bothered to come here in the first place. I'm not a hero, I'm not a champion, I'm not even a fighter. And hell, I don't even call pulling the trigger on a man fighting. He wasn't even armed, and there was no battle. It was cowardice, because that's what I am - a coward.

But my trigger-reluctance aside, let's talk about my friends for a moment. It was easy for all of them to sit in that room and discuss plans about what they think they're going to all do while they're here. Sure, Giles seemed to think of a way that might be possible for me to walk around unnoticed. But I was skeptical, infact, I was dubious.

I sometimes wondered why I wasn't in Vegas, taking the money I had squandered from my job at the Firm, and all the connections I had made.. to start a nightclub of my own again. It's something that I thought about doing quite often, but these days my dreams were dashed by this gigantic ball and chain around my ankle known as my friends. I know they wouldn't let me leave them, I know I had to stay here. I guess that doesn't really mean I have to like it.

After thinking this over (for the millionth time today.. it was a common subject on my mind lately), I lit up another cigarette and poured myself another cocktail. I sat down in a chair, nursed my drink, and silently wondered how I could go about turning my dreams into reality.
Tainted Tale

I've gotta get outta here.... [Saturday, September 10th, 2005 @ 12:08am]

[ mood | aggravated ]

I've been stuck inside this dorm for 3 days. Why the hell would I allow myself to do this, when I have plenty of opportunities to get out...and enjoy myself in this one Starbucks town when no-one else is here? Well I have my own reasons.

I take out my guitar and strum a few notes clearing my mind. I met my roomate earlier, Connor. He seemed down to earth, we talked a bit, worked around the subject of his parents...don't know why...but hell, I don't even know my parents...not that I want to now. Grew up in an orphanage, now I'm on my own, i'm doing fine.

Just fine.

I had to put on a charade that I was just like everyone else in this insane little town. A perfect little Christian boy who loves the Lord and all that crap. Hope I didn't scare him, didn't wanna make myself look too suspicious. He may be smart. But still I gotta establish a sort of buddy-buddy relationship with the kid if the plan was gonna go through succesfully.

God I'm gonna be sick...

I put my guitar away, and went down to my mailbox in the dorm lobby and saw that I got my schedule...

PSYCH 211 - Psychology in the Media
ENG 212 - Advanced Writing
MUS 314 - Notation
UNIV 111 - Underclassman Representation

Why the hell did I take that last class? I don't even LIKE beign a leader, but the Harts are making me take it...and who am I to argue with them...whatever, the sooner I get my degree, the sooner I can get out of this godforsaken (no pun intended) place, move to L.A. start a band and make it big....with the Harts help of course this could be done sooner than I expect....

I'm bored...I can't stay in this damn room for another fucking minute. I've gotta get outta here.

[[open to anyone]]

55 Tales | Tainted Tale

The first day of classes [Saturday, August 6th, 2005 @ 6:57pm]

[ mood | complacent ]

Being in this small town the last few weeks preparing for my students and my lessons has been a learning expierence. I have learned that I detest being this secluded little town with no shopping and no fine restaurants. I can't believe that there is truly a danger in this town, so far all that I have seen is students praying and worshiping their God. I know better than to believe that they are innocent and I do know that the deaths of Kenney and Ronna were not accidents as the police of this hideous town said, but I don't believe that they are demonic, atleast not from what I have seen so far.

I know that no matter what I have to focus on the mission. Focus on what is to come, I know that Mr Giles wouldn't have come here if there wasn't a danger, I just wish it was a bit more obvious, like possibly showing itself at all. I will just as I said before have to focus on the students I have, watching each of them to show signs of evil doings, and possibly teach them a thing or two.

My first class is today at 8 am, I do hope that these students have some understanding of the english language, and possibly the finer art of poetry, I couldn't believe that people from a town like this had much else to do, so possibly I will come across some brilliant minds. One can only hope that is.

[[open for anyone who is in my class :-)]]

19 Tales | Tainted Tale

[Saturday, August 6th, 2005 @ 6:41pm]

[ mood | contemplative ]

We were making good time for all the times we had stopped. It had been two days on the road and we had had a great time stopping and resting when we needed to and stopping and shopping when we wanted to. Gunn seemed to be enjoying the ride, though I could tell he would have rather taken an airplane and gotten there quickly, but it wouldn't have been as interesting that way. You couldn't see the sites on the way there in an airplane so in the long run this is more fun.

Two days down the road and several states later we were stopped in Oklahoma City. I don't know why I chose to stop here, but it seemed nice and there were quite a few hotels that we could stay in that weren't gross and were still inexpensive. Once we found the right one I parked the uhaul and went in getting us both rooms thankfully this one had rooms on the first floor so we didn't have to lug our things up stairs or in Gunn's case in an elevator.

I hated that he was in so much pain, that two years later he was still suffering from the battle in LA, I wanted nothing more than to be able to heal him, but I had to have his permission before I did anything. I had been working on my powers for years, learning how to control what power I had. I even learned to do new things including healing. I had always thought it impossible magickally to heal someone instantly, but when I went to study in the Himalayas I learned a considerable amount. It also helped me to deal with Kennedy leaving and what have you.

I guess once we get settled I will get a chance to talk to him about this, to tell him how I feel and what I want to do, but I don't know if he will go for it. Remembering when I was in LA to reensoul Angel, he didn't seem too fond of the magicks I was performing, so I wonder if I shouldn't just let this go...Well I guess I will just have to work up to it. Yeah I can hear it now..."Hey, so how are you liking this trip so far? Good, well thats great, hey do you mind if I magickally heal you?" Ok so I have to word it better than that but yeah thats basically how it will go.

[[open to Gunn]]

6 Tales | Tainted Tale

[Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005 @ 12:29am]

Ok, so I know I'm in some hick town. Or, something close to it.

I looked up to the sky. "Thanks alot, guys! Really. I so appreicate it."

I need to find Angel and tell him I'm back. Hopefully, he doesn't freak out. Damn, he might think I'm still evil. Wait. He has his vampy sense. Wouldn't he be able to tell?

I started to walk down the street. I was cautious of my surroundings. I had an idea there was something brewing in this town. I just didn't know what.

As I was walking, I looked across the street. Then, I bumped straight into someone.

I looked up, suprised. "Giles?"
15 Tales | Tainted Tale

Move-In Day...Yipee [Monday, July 4th, 2005 @ 9:33am]

[ mood | annoyed ]

Drum. Color me not too excited. I had been hoping for a private room, but no, I get to room with this girl named Jackie. havent met her yet, but I know I'm not gonna be all "Oh my god! Lets be best friends for life!" and giggle like a giddy school girl. Ugh. And if she's like that...I may just have to kill her.....

The parents are annoying as ever lately.

"Oh Nicolette, you're almost done with college, dont screw it up, okay?"

Why would I do that? Honestly, screwing up in college and going here longer means that I have to stay in this hellhole longer. And while the Harts may want me to, I dont think that I will. You never know, but still. I want OUT. Fashion design, here I come. That'll be sure to rip mom and dad's little hearts out. Their "sweet little country girl going to the big city." Whatever.

*Nicolette wanders around the room, placing her things amongst the room. Hairbrushes and accessories in a red basket in the bathroom. Clothes in the closet, and nice new down pillows on the bed. The BIG bed.

"Advantage of getting here first, hun. Laying claim on your property."

Ah, the good old schedule of classes:

EN390 : Shakespeare. Goodwin. 12:45-1:35 MWF
EN330: Poetry. Whitney. 8:00-8:50 MWF
EN431: Romantic Literature. Whitney. 1:45-3:00 TTH
FR213: Intermediate french. Garside. 8:00-9:15. TTH

Mom threatened to take another French class this semester rather than next, "Or else." Yeah, I'd LOVE to see what she meant by that. but I cant risk anything. Her snooping into my room at home or anything. Cause lord knows she will, and if she finds....no, she'd never find it.

[[open to anyone...jackie?]]

24 Tales | Tainted Tale

[Wednesday, June 29th, 2005 @ 7:54pm]

[ mood | bored ]

Here I am, in Franklin Springs. Small ass town, with some crazy ass people. Not getting a good vibe at all. I'm ready as ever, to kick some ass.

Giles assigned me as director of Jackson Hall with some of the girls. B has the other hall. If I would have know I'd be playing mother hen, I would have ditched this job, long ago. Nah, the girls are cool. Besides, I got my own room. No one bothering me. That's heaven to me.

Angel's in town with his crew. I haven't seen him in awhile. I'm glad we've got him here. We're going to need all the power and muscle we can get our hands on.

Man, I need to find something to do. Party town, this is not. I think I'll go patrol. See what's going on around this place.

[[open to anyone wanting to keep Faith company or go on patrol('walking around town') with her]]

8 Tales | Tainted Tale

Where I am now... [Monday, June 27th, 2005 @ 11:09pm]

I went with Angel and team. We lived, me, Angel, Spike, Gunn and Lorne. Now, we were going to help Rupert in the South of the colonies. Just where I always wanted to go. Well, some of us died first, but so? Besides what else could I do? I had no where to go. I was not welcome in England. And I was no good by myself.

Not that it was easy. Gunn and Willow, from Sunnydale, were driving here (I hope he watches out for the men in the White sheets), while we took a plane. And dear lord, Angel and Spike fight like an old married couple, but I guess they are old. Wouldn't do to ask about the married part. Giggles to himself.

Still, I don't fit here. I don't fit anywhere. I live, day in and out with a blue god that took over the body of the woman I love. And what do I do about it? Stare. Stare, and wonder if I'm really grateful for her saving my life.

If I'd died, I'd be with my Fred now, wouldn't I? Actually, all signs pointed to no. They said...they said her soul was gone. So I was left with...with that. Illyria. Blue goddess, and lonely soul.

So, I live. I follow Angel. I serve..damn, I serve Illyria, because it's all I can do now.

And I fight. I won't be so easy to kill again. I won't die unless there is something worth dying for. The other question in my life was, though, was there really sometihng worth living for. Had the powers of good ever existed. I was not now, nor did I ever think I would be sure. And I hated it.

In some ways, I still hate myself. I want Fred back. I want my life back.

Plus, Giles wanted to talk to us.
Tainted Tale

Searching for Rogue Slayer [Monday, June 27th, 2005 @ 3:40pm]

[ mood | content ]

Giles and his missions. Who am I kidding. I hadn't had a real mission from Giles in the longest time. In fact, I almost missed it. Actually, being in the car with Xander kinda made it feel like old times.

Sunnydale times.

Sure, they weren't the greatest. But I had the gang with me. Giles, Xander, Willow, Dawn. That was my family.

My head bobbed lightly to the music in the car. It was kind of a drive to wherever it was that Giles wanted us to look for the Faith-like girlrouge slayer.

Actually, I think Xander coming along wasn't just because of the old-times, keeping in small groups kinda method. Buffy and cars? Bad, bad, bad combination. I mean, I could drive. I knew how to move the steering wheel, press the gas, and all of that other stuff. I just couldn't do it well.

Well, that didn't matter. The Xan-Man was here. With all his driving ablities. Besides. Looking for that girl and her sister would've been kinda boring by myself. Not that saving people was boring. I just like company while doing it. Well, sometimes. Bah! There I go again. Confusing myself.

So. Right. Back to thinking about the girl. Angelina, or Angie. Something like that. Giles said something about her taking care of her little sister. It was kind of depressing. But, that's what we were here. To save her! Or, I think possibly to stop her from being her rougueness of a slayer. And have her help with the new problem.

I glanced at the drivers seat, of which Xander was in.

"So, think she'll give us any problems?"

49 Tales | Tainted Tale

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